First of all, I would like to sincerely apologise to my faithful followers for my very long absence from the blogosphere. It is simply inexcusable and I feel terrible for having dropped off the edge of the cyber-world without any notice, but I have been very busy with schoolwork, family and all that jazz.
Well, to make up for my absence, I am going to have to deliver a super-special-awesome post. Yes, I know – this lies outside my capabilities as a blogger, but I’ll try my best.
Miaow. I’ve come to the conclusion that any internet publication about, containing, or relating to cats immediately gains one hundred bonus points for entertainment value. So yes, my miaow is a feeble attempt to salvage this post. I’m doing fabulously at writing a super-special-awesome post, aren’t I? (Insert sarcastic facial expression here)
To compensate for this shocking writing, the lack of read-worthy content in this post, and my very abnormal animal noises, here is a cutesy cat photo for you.
Ahem, where are my hundred bonus points? That brings the quality of this post to a grand total of 0 on a scale of 1 – 100.
Chuck Norris. Well, according to the laws of internet awesomeness, the quality of this blog post just went up fifty points for mentioning the name of the omnipresent, omnipotent and omnidirectional internet God. Woop woop! Okay, so I’m at 50/100 now.
Now if I chuck in a Darth Vader reference, a Will Ferrell quote, a Batman meme or two, and some vague reference to pirates, ninjas and/or other awesome beings, then in the tradition of internet lore, this post should theoretically be rated 100/100.
(Insert witty Darth Vader reference here. I am lazy and cannot be bothered to comb the web for some incredibly hilarious Star Wars meme, nor do I have the creativity or drive to come up with my own at present.)
(Insert Will Ferrell quote)
(Insert Batman meme)
(Insert vague reference to pirates, ninjas and/or other awesome beings)
Oh, and if I include a Nick Cage joke/picture, then the quality of this post must be off the charts. Now, do you understand why the scale of internet awesomeness is flawed? Are there no points awarded for individuality and creativity?
(Insert Nick Cage joke/picture)